No Contact Rule Male Psychology: 8 Stages & 5 Shocking Thoughts He Has (2023)

High-quality men want to be providers. They are strong men who want to support their woman and take the lead.

So, no contact essentially makes him feel useless.

By now he’s sort of in a bargaining stage.

He can see that his texts and calls aren’t working, but he very much wants to still be there for you on a deeper level in some way.

Men want to feel needed. They want to feel like the big strong man who can swoop in and save you.

I know it sounds cheesy, but this is the primal instinct that men have been developing for millions of years.

When you don’t respond, this desire only grows within him.

He basically needs a way to repair some of that lost self esteem that disappeared with you doing no contact on him so seriously.

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Stage #8: He Tries A Desperate Last Advance or Gives Up

The last thing he thinks if you ignore him is that he has to do a “grand gesture” and throw a Hail Mary pass.

This is where he may show up with a bouquet of flowers, come up to you in a restaurant where you’re out on a date or show up playing music outside your apartment.

He’s hoping that something can break through the no contact and at least get your attention even if you stick to the split.

If none of this works then he will eventually give up.


But if he still has strong feelings for you and the relationship was serious, the no contact is salt in the wound.

He’s not going to forget about you for a long, long time.

Related: How To Get Revenge On Your Ex Boyfriend in 5 Easy Steps (With No Repercussions).

(Video) 5 Stages A Man Goes Through During No Contact (What Is He Thinking?)

5 Shocking Thoughts He Has During No Contact

The fact is that no contact rule male psychology does differ from guy to guy, even though there are some general principles that apply broadly to all men.

Each man is still an individual, so we cannot be his mind reader and give you the exact mental script he’s going through.

However, we can give you some insights into the little known thoughts most men will inevitably have in their heads during no contact, that we have learned through years of coaching.

First things first:

The stronger a man feels about you to start with, the stronger the effect that you going no contact on him will be.

If he didn’t like you much to begin with, going no contact won’t do much.

But if you had something deep that’s now over, it’s going to drive him up the wall.

What a guy thinks when you ignore him is based on how much he likes you and what his intentions were with you.

If he really liked you, and you suddenly ignore him, it's going to hurt him.

He'll think about it and obsess about getting you back, because no contact creates so much space and emptiness in his life.

Now if you want even more insights into no contact rule male psychology, here are 6 shocking thoughts he has when you go no contact on him.

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(Video) The Psychology Of A Man During The No Contact Rule

Here Are 6 Shocking Thoughts He Has When You Ignore Him

#1: “I really suck, I'm not worthy of a second chance.”

The male mind during no contact is like a fuse short-circuiting. He’s buzzing, frizzing and all over the place.

He may feel that you’re ignoring him because he’s unworthy and begin replaying all the times he’s felt inadequate or unwanted.

If he has high self-esteem he will easily brush these thoughts aside. If he has low self-esteem they can really stick with him.

The fact is, ignoring someone is the fastest way to trigger any feelings of inadequacy.

You may not have that intent of course, you may just be going no contact purely to do the best thing for yourself.

But of course, if you had a good and close relationship with your ex, then almost anything you do to your ex has an affect on him on some level.

What Is The One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Single Man in this World That Inspires Him to WANT to Commit to One Woman, Want to Take Care of Her, Worship Her and Only Her?

#2: “What did I do to make her disappear like that?”

Nobody likes how they feel when someone goes no contact on them. Even if he only half-liked you, it’s going to affect him.

(Video) Male Psychology During The No Contact Rule

And even if he broke up with you, he’s going to wonder if he was too harsh and he hurt you so badly that you won’t talk to him again.

Recommended: How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back in 6 Badass Steps.

#3:“Gosh, now I realize I like her way more than I realized.”

Another shocking thought many men have during no contact is that he realizes he liked you more than he thought.

This is often a result of being deprived of your attention and affection.

This feeling can come as a surprise to him, particularly if he was treating you as a plaything or sending you mixed signals while you dated.

No Contact Rule Male Psychology: 8 Stages & 5 Shocking Thoughts He Has (1)

#4: “Screw her. I’ll find a new girl.”

If he was never that into you and you initiate no contact, he may have angry thoughts about you like this.

He’ll be swiping through Tinder in no time, looking for another girl to take to bed. And guess what? With any luck, he’ll probably be getting ghosted again, too.

#5:“Just another fake chick. Bye.”

This is a shocking thought that some guys have during no contact. The male mind during no contact is desperately searching for answers and solutions.

Recommended: 19 Lame Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You.

To men, feelings make them out of control, and since he would be having a few feelings related to you right now, he’ll be scrambling to come up with a solution.

Because that’s what men do, they solve problems.

(Video) The Neuropsychology of Men During No contact (SHOCKING!!!)

So one way to solve it is to reduce your importance in his life.

So when you don’t contact him he may pretend not to like you by writing you off as “just the same” as other girls who he thinks are low-value.

This is a cop out on his part.

There Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. Do You Know What They Are & How to Avoid Them Like the Plague?

#6:“We had an amazing sexual connection! Could it be that I'm not good enough in bed for her like I thought I was?”

So we all know that sex is important to guys.

So even if he didn’t have strong romantic feelings for you and you were just a woman he kept around to serve his own needs, being placed on no contact can make him doubt his own sexual performance.

He may wonder if you were faking orgasms, and if the intimate times you shared together were actually quite blah for you.

So now that you know some of the crazy thoughts that go on in the male mind during no contact, there’s an important question that I want to ask you…

What Do You Want?

The key to heading in the direction here is to know what you want.

What’s your goal?

Are you punishing him and seeing how much he squirms, or do you want him back?

Be clear on your goals, because no contact only works if you have a strong motivation for doing it and have consistency in your actions.

If you’re tempted to write him back every ten minutes or very lonely in your own life, it could end up hurting you as much as it’s hurting him.

But if you’re confident about what you’re doing and have a reason for it, you could end up rekindling the spark that you used to have.

If you would indeed like to rekindle that spark, then perhaps think about whether it’s best to do no contact for 30 days in order to “reset” your connection and to give him the gift of missing you, or whether it’s best to actually be in touch with the strict and clear purpose of adding some value in his life.

Add value? How?


The simple way to add value is to build the emotional attraction and emotional connection up again.

The best way to do that is with some high value banter and texting, just to add some value in his life and create a genuine emotional connection.

(Video) Psychology of No Contact Rule on Dumper or Ex

High value banter is also a way to test how serious he is about connecting with you (you don’t want to keep him in your life if he’s just messing around, after all).

So go ahead and find out for yourself! Test out some high value banter by taking our free class on the dark feminine art of high value banter.


1. The Main Thing He's Thinking During No Contact | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
(Mat Boggs)
2. 6 Ways No Contact Affects Your Ex’s Brain
(Brad Browning)
3. 7 PSYCHOLOGICAL Reasons Why No Contact Works So Well On Everyone (Number 6 Will SHOCK You!)
4. No Contact Rules To Ensure He Will Return And Miss You (Doing These Wrong Can HURT You)
(Elliot Scott)
5. The "No Contact Rule" Explained | Matthew Hussey
(Matthew Hussey)
6. Why The No Contact Rule Works On Everyone
(EZ Dating Coach)


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